Culture & Society
Can we save Black marriage?
By: Cassye D. Cook
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Tue, 10/20/2009 - 07:40
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In recent months mainstream coverage of a research study about how marriage may be “eluding” highly educated black women has been vast and dire. The study tends to brand black women with the plight of endless singleness because there aren't enough reliable marriage partners with their same educational and professional ambition. This really isn't a new story; it's just the same boogie man spin that researchers, reports and studies have been pushing for years.
Back in 2000, the U.S. Census declared that African-Americans are the most “unpartnered” group in all of America with 54 percent between the age of 24 and 34 having never been married. In all of America? Give me a break. Even the language used to describe the report is depressing.
I am all for sounding the alarm about the systemic problems the marriage decline causes in our communities. But what bothers me about this panic squad, is the absence of stories and studies about successful marriage that can lend support to the institution.
Supposedly for the 42 percent of African Americans who are married, the divorce rate is 12 percent. Statistics are valuable, but what I find particularly annoying is that since the declaration of those depressing statistics in 2000, no one rang the alarm about the importance of marriage.
There's plenty of debate about who can and can’t marry or the lack of suitable candidates but who's advocating for and studying the power of marriage?
Hampton University recently launched the National Center on African American Marriages and Parenting, an academic organization focused on studying black relationships and supporting methods to improve and encourage marriage. And in 2002, Nisa Islam Muhammad created Black Marriage Day to acknowledge couples around the country who are committed to each other until death do they part. Maybe by supporting these endeavors we can force multi-dimensional coverage about black singles and black marriages, and all marriage for that matter.
There are a multitude of challenges surrounding this issue and they will remain unresolved if we allow others to believe the limited perspective that says if Black women get an advance degree they better be prepared to cuddle with that MBA, J.D. or Ph.D. because there won't be anyone left to love them.
Instead, let’s learn about the effort it takes to make marriage work, and the success stories of commitment so that all singles can instead prepare themselves to, as Ruby Dee says, "marry for good."
Cassye D. Cook is a contributor to TheLoop21.com. She can be contacted at cassye@theloop21.com.
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COMMENTS
Cassye, I agree with you 500%!
It is very true that we do need to work on this issue, but like you stated in the article, if we are not shown the alternative, than we are lead to believe that marriage doesn't exist in our communities.
While we have leaders complaining about the "N" word, or hip-hop, and sagging pants, we need to begin the discussion of imagery, and how the media portrays the Black Man, and the Black Family. Aside from the Cosby Show, seeing images that truly reflect who we are as individuals, families and communities is not reflected on the screen as much as the contrary.
The Mr. Brown's of the world may exist, but it is this image, at least in my world that is the exception and not the rule. In conversation with who looks like a "thug" he still has something to say, and a story to tell. How he looks doesn't always match the behavior and desires of the man.
Our Black children are being sacrificed in large numbers because their identity is often created by mass media images.
Black Marriage exist and it needs the same attention and support as divorces and other negative images that they portray of us.
Peace!
Richard
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