Culture & Society
An open letter to Slim Thug
How much more “down” do you want Black women to be?
By: Marc Lamont Hill
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Wed, 06/09/2010 - 00:11
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In a recent interview, rapper Slim Thug unleashed a very disturbing attack on Black women, here's an excerpt:
...Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We’re important. It’s hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking and being down for they man more. They can’t just be running around with their head up in the air and passing all of us.
I have a brother that dates a White woman and he always be fucking with me about it saying, 'Y’all gotta go through all that shit [but] my White woman is fine. She don’t give me no problems, she do whatever I say and y’all gotta do all that arguing and fighting and worry about all this other shit.'...
While many people dismissed it as a publicity stunt or the rant of an ignorant rapper, I felt compelled to respond to him in the form of an open letter.
Slim,
A few days ago, you made comments in Vibe magazine that have caused a great deal of controversy. While I appreciate your willingness to offer your opinion in public, you made several statements that were not only unfair and untrue, but deeply damaging to our community. Normally, I would reach out to you privately, but since your comments were made in a very public place, I feel compelled to respond in the same manner.
FOLLOW-UP:
- @marclamonthill v. @slimthugga: A recap of the online Twitter debate
- Dr. Boyce Watkins breaks down Slim Thug's arguments against Marc Lamont Hill
- Slim Thug defends himself on the Big Tigger Morning show
- A Black woman's say on the Slim Thug debate
As an artist who is respected by millions of fans, particularly young ones, I found your comments to be hurtful and irresponsible. For good or for bad, our children follow the lead of you and other artists for everything from fashion and slang to self-esteem, body image and relationships. Imagine how a young black girl feels to hear from you, her role model, that her “standards are too high” and that she should “bow down” and “settle for less.” Consider the pain that our beautiful brown skinned babies feel when Yung Berg says he doesn’t date “dark butts.” Think about the self-esteem of our community when Nelly refers to our mothers, sisters, and daughters as “Tip Drills.”
As celebrities, your public comments are not just your own. Instead they influence the choices, beliefs, and lives of an entire generation of young people who look to you for direction.
Of course, you have every right to say things that you think are true.
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COMMENTS
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Why do we waste our time with someone whose biggest (and that's relative to other flops) hit was "I Aint Heard of That"? I'm sure we could build a universe of shit Slim Thug aint heard of. I sleep at night by imagining that Slim Thug's Black side loves and appreciates Black women. While his white is the one busy making ignorant comments in an irrelevant Hip Hop magazine.
In the words of Sinead O'Connor, "Fight the real enemy."...Meanwhile in Gary Coleman's wife killed him news.
www.donovanramsey.blogspot.com
Dr. Hill, while his comments were controversial I think you made the mistake a lot of black folks do when we are criticized and that is to misinterpret the message. I believe that he is making the point that a lot of black seem to this idealized image of mate and while keeping there vision locked on this unrealistic image they tend to miss out on all the good black men that they have passed along the way. I think his comments may have been taken out of context as is the case when a spoken interview is transcribed.
I see nothing wrong with what Slim Thug said. How can what he said be untrue when he is speaking based off of his own experiences? You can't say that it isn't true just because you haven't experienced what he has with black women.
because he made a general statement and categorized us. That's like saying what's wrong with saying "black men are violent, ignorant criminals"? Just because some are, is it a valid mark to stamp ya'll with?
-.-
Thank you for addressing this issue. Slim Thug is ignorant just like many other men that feel like black women need to be more supportive. Sure, some do, but alot of them aren't and haven't been supporting US for years. Black women are probably the most supportive and loyal(meaning not dating outside of BM) group of people only to be constantly bashed by other groups of people and ignorant BM. When will black men start having our backs? I must make it a point to say that I am not saying all BM don't have our backs but I'd like to see more of it going on. Anyway, I'll be posting my take on the whole Slim Thug article on my blog tomorrow. Check it out if you'd like. www.proverbialmindcandy.blogspot.com
beautiful- I agree! Thank you professor.
As a Black woman, I would like to thank you for your open letter to "Slim Thug". It was eloquently written and above all, loaded with facts that no one can deny. Let's see if and how Slim Thug (as he calls himself) will reply.
I am slightly bothered that this is making so much news; radio, blogs, twitter, facebook, etc. I didn't find the statements harmful to me (I am a blk female who just moved from Houston by way of Cali), as I am not the black woman he speaks of. How can we fault Slim for his comments if it is what he has come across? Instead of learning from what he speaks of and his story, we are upset with him. I cook, I clean, I cater and more - according to Slim's words, I'm a white woman. Hell, I know a lot of black women who don't cook and clean regularly - not saying he is 100% correct about things, but how can we be disappointed if some of what he speaks of is true. I don't like shopping, nor do i expect anything from my dude; Slim isn't talking about me. He lives a lavish lifestyle that attracts the type of women who want to sit on their ass and do nothing but take from him - whats wrong with that? Why can't he speak on it? At least he is dating within his race (not that anything is wrong with interracial dating, but it would be another issue). So the problem we have here is Slim dates black women who are lazy - you can't tell me you don't know one or two women like that. It was humorous to read what we already know. the same women who are mad are the ones praising Kat stacks for her actions - hello Mc Fly - she fits into the box of women Slim speaks of. In other news, @Enigmatikbgdb wrote a dope article on this situation - http://www.bgdboom.com/2010/06/are-you-serious-slim-thugs-relationship.h... - @CathrynMarie
I just want to thank you for this open letter. While Slim Thug's comments were atrocious whats even more atrocious is how black men don't seem to care about what he said. You would think they would given the fact that it is probably a very big chance they were raised by a black woman without the help of a black man. I'm sure they have black sisters, aunts and grandmothers. Black men like you who care and are disturbed by these comments are very rare and for that I say thank you. Thank you for loving the black woman enough to see how hurtful these comments are and how we have to endure them time after time, day by day by so many black men, famous or not.
Honestly I don't even know what reptile Slim Thang is but that is truly a sad message. Fortunately I don't listen to the music and artists that are bringing down our community so I am often not affected by what these people say. The sad thing is however, they have black mothers, aunts, grandmothers etc. I guess their mother and female family members must be no good,etc for them to make such an assessment of black women. I am sorry but dating men like him along with the numerous incarcerated men just doesn't make sense to a woman like me so they would have to use another woman for reference. I would never lower my standards to date their kind neither know any self respecting women who would.
This makes me angry though because even though I do not care, my little sister might and her friends might. They will feel devalued just because this pathetic man tells them that they should. My mom told me that there is a season for everything under the sun so don't worry black males, your season is coming and it won't be pretty.
I was waiting on a white woman to respond to make her self look so good. I cook, clean, and work. I don't need Slim Thug nor any person for that matter that has money to take care of me. I don't sit on my ass nor do I plot to get a man. I work!! I take care of me. How can I uplift someone when the only thing he wants is his damn ego stroke 99.5% of the time. I have one God. I can't help he dates "basketball wannabe wives" and pass the BLACK women who are doing their thing. I can't stand a man that compares women by race. I have dated outside my race several times but a man is a man. Slim and others need to stop letting their penis choose a woman and start using there hearts. Now blog that!!!
WOW! I couldn't have put it better Hill.
You are so true about everything. My children sing these songs OUT LOUD and as they walk by me I simply lose it. They say it's only a song mom, but it's much more when it's in their minds and they can sing word for word to me rather than achieve in school. I am one to believe that we all have a job or mission in life mainly if we have our own children or our neighbors childrens. I see many adults not stepping up and not showing any true passion towards what's wrong or wright. My children are mixed and it makes me feel bad for them to grow up that way just because of the standards their fathers family has shown them or should I say have not shown them, as well as this great society we have. They seem to become part of the world that is slipping away with all the BS that surronds us. Many think this stuff is cool and maybe I did in my early years but as I step back and look, I find that it's a waste of time that will pass us up like any other thing. These artists especially the ones who are our age in the early 30's should know better (they have kids too). Maybe money is the passion and nothing more. When there gone and their children are older maybe they can say oh DAD did his thing for us and we are taken care of, but he sure made us look at our women now in a different way. Was he right to do that, or did he not care and believe what he sung?
I was waiting on a white woman to respond to make her self look so good. I cook, clean, and work. I don't need Slim Thug nor any person for that matter that has money to take care of me. I don't sit on my ass nor do I plot to get a man. I work!! I take care of me. How can I uplift someone when the only thing he wants is his damn ego stroke 99.5% of the time. I have one God. I can't help he dates "basketball wannabe wives" and pass the BLACK women who are doing their thing. I can't stand a man that compares women by race. I have dated outside my race several times but a man is a man. Slim and others need to stop letting their penis choose a woman and start using there hearts. Now blog that!!!
I'm sorry...who is Slim Thug?
Anyhow, I loveyour response Mr. Hill...though it's hard for me to take to heart any comments by a guy calling himself a Slim Thug.
I'm still trying to figure out why we have spent so much time on all of this. What Slim thug said was his opinion and frankly, had an African american woman I'm not mad at him. What he said has some truth to it...Are we mad because it was a black male who said this or would it had been better if it had Beyonce who said the exactly same thing....I mean I just don't get it.
I read the excerpt on what Slim Thug had to say about black women yesterday, and I must say that even though we all have opinions his were just flat out ignorant. From my point of view this is just another way media can be used to continuously and subliminal create a divide between black men and black women.
Black Men are always complaining about how they can't find a good woman but when they do for some reason most don't do right by them as a man. Then on the other hand, you have black women who keep dealing with these thug and player type dudes and continuously get played and then can't take it anymore so they decide they want to be bisexual or lesbians b/c they keep getting messed over by dudes (which is just a easy cop out) So really this isn't a "black woman issue" this is a black folks issue period.
Honestly, I feel that black men and women need to take a look at themselves on an individual level and stop pointing the blame at each other and find out what's going on with them as a whole. I wish that one day that we as people will stop talking at each other and talk to each other.
My only problem with that reading is that it ignores the racialized notions that he perpetuates. He explicitly contrasts the black woman who's reaching too far and expects too much to the white women that supposedly "bow down" to their men. Just the fact that the white woman "does whatever I say" implies that black women are incapable of living up to the concept of femininity and partnership and, even worse, that the idea where women are meek servants who concede everything to their man's desires should be the concept of femininity and partnership that we subscribe to.
And while I agree that many women overlook good men in search of the non-existent better ones, I think that you can easily apply that idea to other races, not just black women. As daughters, we are told to get the best, that not just anybody deserves the investment of our time, money, and affection. When we, as black women, attempt to live up to those standards that have been given to us by our fathers, grandfathers, brothers, our mothers, grandmothers, older sisters, we are told that we are aiming too high. It is a conflicting message that should not be.
Yes, black women should be more open to both black men and to other races. (My own mother, a black Ivy League graduate married my now adoptive father - a black government plumber, and I have never seen a happier couple. Ironically, all I heard in college is how such a coupling never happens.) Yes, black women should not keep running for the virtually unattainable perfect black man, especially with the statistics concerning black men as they are now. Yes, we should STAND BY our men. But we should not have to bow down to them. If they are to be kings, then they must remember that in a true relationship, we are their queens, not their concubines or servants.
I apologize both for this being long verging toward a rant from an anonymous and random person on the internet. But I feel that to try and give leniency to Slim Thug's hypocritical comments is a disservice to every woman. It tells women to take what we can, to be the cook, the maid, and the perfect woman who most likely has to work both in and outside the house while the man can be whatever, because we won't get anything better. What a horrible lie to perpetuate.
As a young black woman, this speaks to me. I'm tired of seeing women depicted in music videos as objects and not people. At the same time, I feel we as women allow ourselves to be treated in that same manner! I guess they (the artists) wouldn't say such nonsense if there wasn't a market for it - which should make you think, what is to become to today's youth?!?
Our future leaders, mothers,fathers etc - it's a generation lost if something isn't done.
Thank you! Women need to not only know this but believe it for themselves!!!
You, along with innumerous other people in the media are the ones who keep giving this so much press. I am deeply disturbed that people, yourself included, are turning this into a black/white issue, as opposed to keeping it a male/female issue, which I believe it is. That is even more dangerous than the originating statements, which are Slim Thug's sole opinion. I am having a hard time understanding why this is such a problem for so many people- black womens standards are high, and they don't want to settle...and this is an issue why?
What he is saying, irregardless of race, is that if you want a successful man, you need to bring something to the table and make yourself stand out, because there are so many women vying for the same man. And whether you want to believe it or not, Slim Thug does have his choice. Any popular and/or successful man does. If you want this man, you need to be able to take care of him. A popular and successful entertainer is not going to want a woman that can't make a grilled cheese sandwich. Sorry if you don't agree, it is what it is.
All right, now I disagreed with your blog on Drake but I have magnificent respect for you after reading your Twitter debate with him online. It bugs the hell out of me that females above are saying they weren't bothered by his comments because they're not the women he speaks of. This is the same lame excuse that females (notice I'm not saying "women") give for getting low in the club, popping booties and snapping fingers to songs disrespecting us. If you read his comments yesterday, you'll know he also said he would go for somebody like Lisa Raye, who openly stated she only dates men with money and didn't seem to mind being called a golddigger. If this is the type of women he continues to connect with, that's the women he'll continue to meet. It's about as illogical as the woman who complains about bad black men but is forever chasing the most thugged out, negative, abusive guys. Then she swears it's the guys' fault and not hers.
I said pretty much everything you said on my AC entry, but what I loved about your entry is you brought up statistics I didn't even consider, such as the divorce rate in America. Excellent point.
What bothers me is that Slim Thug hides behind the idea that he "reps for the streets." That doesn't mean you have to be the most negative cat ON THE STREETS. Mos Def and Ice Cube rep for the streets, too, but they're doing it in a "Get your a** off the streets" kind of way. Now he's saying he was misquoted, but every single thing he said on that Vibe Magazine blog was something he confirmed on Twitter. Vibe Magazine should be annoyed that he's now trying to hide behind the notorious interviewee excuse "I was misquoted."
This whole topic makes my head hurt so I'm going to fall back after I finish typing this entry, but I do want to thank you for taking the time to try to get through to this dude. I don't think it'll ever work and he's going to have to find out from personal experience instead of someone trying to school him, but it is what it is. We may not agree on musical tastes, but I can definitely respect you for this entry.
And another thing, anyone saying Slim Thug is a one hit wonder, or his only hit is "I Aint Heard of That" has had their head in the sand for the past 10 years. He has been an influence on the Southern rap scene for over 10 years, and more recently blowing up as a mainstream artist for the whole nation. Back when he was a duo with ESG, his hits range from "I Run", "Thug", "Wood Grain Wheel", "3 Kings", "Like a Boss", "Hands Up," and many more, including a collaboration on the Gwen Stefani song "Luxurious". Do your research before you speak out of place and make yourself look like an ass.
This comment is to Cathryn Marie.
I realize that you, nor I, were one of the women he was referring to. But the problem came when he tried to lump all of us together in one category. And then went out of his way to say that his brother now only dates White women, and that Slim himself is now dating a half-White, half-Black woman. And that the White side of her is the part that cooks for him and does whatever he says. THAT is where the problem with his letter stemmed from.
@Cathryn Marie
Slims comments are problematic because it lacks accountability. Often times, we attract the energy WE put out there. If he is encountering women or HAS encountered [Black] women who have fallen within the confines of his opinion, then maybe he needs to turn the mirror around and look at the image HE is portraying.
And as a White woman, you can never fully understand how the stigma and societal impact of statements such as these CAN affect Black women...because you are one who lives amongst privilege, and is being lauded as better than, in his own words. More submissive. Actually, I would think it's a slap in the face to someone who is only sought for those attributes. Not saying you can't empathize with someone's struggle, but that's all you can do...from the outside looking in.
Of course what he said doesn't necessarily apply to ALL Black women, but we live in a society that perpetuates stereotypes as truths. And while there are sometimes truth mixed in there, they are NOT representative of an ENTIRE GROUP OF PEOPLE. Of course we know women who are what he describes. But it's not ONLY Black women. Anyway,the problem is he's equating HIS experiences as the experiences of an entire group. Black women are this. Black women are that. When you generalize, you're contributing to the problem.
Not ONCE does he talk about his own contributions to his issues with [Black] women, but then validates his personal decisions based upon his own missteps in past relationships.
Anyway, thank you Mr. Hill for addressing this. But interestingly enough, this shouldn't even be newsworthy, or in fact worthy of wasted bandwidth.
Dr. Hill,
I understand what you're saying, but when things become proverbs there is a bit of truth in it. In short, what I'm trying to say is, while Slim's comments might be off, there is something to his making the comments. You cite divorce rates for whites, but how many black children are living in single head households because blacks aren't marrying or staying together? Moreover, there is a virtual industry dealing with black male/female relationships. I don't think that you can find that phenomenon anyway.
Being a pedigreed good looking black man, you've probably had to deal with very many of the issues that a regular brother who isn't working at a Ivy League has to deal with. I don't want to share any anecdotes, but I think that you could have been a bit more understanding. You don't know how Slim thug became Slim thug. How many sisters would be interested in Slim nice guy? Even preachers trying to act gangster now.
By the way, I can't think of one sister that waited on a brother doing hard time. You are going to have to come up with some stats on that one.
In a way I see what he is trying to say,but the real focus is us as a whole. We have really been messed up mentally from slavery which is called post tramatic syndrome. We as a whole no something isn't right but don't know how to fix it, so we come up with these ideas that we think are right. With more study of REAL HISTORY,but until your third eye opens we Will not see the truth or speak it properly.
Often many men who make it to that " point" often "forget where they came from" and then begin to bash instantly. Its so sad that a woman who is strong and Independent is not looked at as being a prize possesion but looked at as being too demanding. Should a white woman be honored when reading comments from his blog basically saying they are better because they ask permission, obey and listen. are they not adults??? indiviuals, human beings????.. I believe in submission etc. But I feel if your going to make comments like this try not to generalize and bash.. say " woman " in general. It not only happens in the black race but all races . I guess when your a black woman you must conform back to the old slavery ways b/c im assuming we are not worthy of better. so sad if we dont encourage and make changes within our own race how do we expect other races to accept and respect us??????
I seriously do not see how any of his statments were "untrue" esp. since he was stating his opinion. I don't think that an opinion can be deemed true or otherwise. I just don't understand why bw act like you are the only ones being dogged out all the time. Every single time there is an article about a problem with black women it is always the fault of black men. If I say black women are mean (which a large amount are), someone like YOU will immediately bring up some statistics that make it seem like its our fault. I guess women and men are just wired differently. When black women come out attacking us (ie. all of those "No good bm to marry" news segments) you dont see us hopping on blogs and all over the internet trying to bring black women down with stats. We take it, and many of us use that as motivation to be better. But, there seems to be a trend of black women who hear criticism and end up reacting with attitudes. Its like they read "black women have nasty personalities and are too masculine and to ready to fight" and then they react by saying "F that ni$$a he aint ish, I will beat his A$$" Its really sad because in the end, you all are only hurting yourselves. So, go ahead and keep pushing us away and demeaning us and see where that will leave you all in the future. Most of you all can't find a man now and refuse to accept the reasons why. Black men are going to keep doing us, while you all ostracize yourselves into virtual extinction.
Dr. Hill,
I understand what you're saying, but when things become proverbs there is a bit of truth in it. In short, what I'm trying to say is, while Slim's comments might be off (sexist, racist, and reveal internalized racism), there is something to his speaking about the topic. A few other things:
You cite divorce rates for whites, but how many black children are living in single head households because blacks aren't marrying or staying together? Some of these babies are booty calls.
Moreover, there is a virtual industry dealing with black male/female relationships. I don't think that you can find that phenomenon among any other race. There are books that deal with relationships, but you can fill a college auditorium of you bring a panel dealing with black male and females. You know that is true.
Being a pedigreed good looking black man, you probably haven't had to deal with very many of the issues that a regular brother who isn't working at a Ivy League has to deal with. I'm sure that you've never dealt with dysfunction among our people. Have you read Memmi on the colonized mentality or Fanon. Why do you respect them and dismiss Slim.
I don't want to share any persona anecdotes, but I think that you could have been a bit more understanding. You don't know how Slim thug became Slim thug. How many sisters would be interested in Slim nice guy long term? Even preachers trying to act gangster now. Often, when I hear from black men and women on this topic, I hear a plea for love. A plea for an enduring relationship with a partner that they could trust. If they had it they wouldn't cry out for it. And, if they hadn't been burned a few times, they might be committed to a monogamous relationship, instead many of our youth--male and female--think that's for squares.
By the way, I can't think of one sister that waited on a brother doing hard time. I've seen them tell a brother to his face that they weren't waiting.
You are going to have to come up with some stats on that one.
I for one just write this person that calls himself "Slim Thug" off as another ignorant, uneducated, poor excuse for a black man. In his statements, he confirms racial/gender stereo types that positive African Americans have been trying to abolish since freedom rang! It would be just as easy for a black woman to say "I don't date black men because they are all (slim) thugs, with umptenth baby momma's to whom they barely make timely child support payments to, if at all! Some have been known to rob, sale drugs, and kill people for a living." Would that too be deemed as an understandable statement, just because it is my opinion??? Just because he pampers you with a split majority with words like "SOME" or "MOST" doesn't make the statement of self racism any better. Perhaps the white portion of his queen that he calls a girlfriend has been so busy cooking and catering to him, that her black lazy half refuses to clean, which must be the reason as to why he is unable to look in the mirror and realize what he, at least one of his parents, and his children are! If he or his half white woman are in need of any validation of what their true recognized ethnicity is... Tell either one of them to do something to violate the law and go to jail I'll bet my last breath "THE MAN" will set em' both straight on that!
D. Smooth,
I can name some college friends of mine who claimed to be in relationships with men who are currently in prison. He currently has a poetry site, and every time he wants to type an entry, he has his girl call him up and recite what he wants to say. Hell, Tiny (T.I.'s fiancee) is one of them if you want to name someone we all know and this is NOT T.I.'s first time going to jail. DMX's wife watched him go in and out of prison and she hung around. There were also positive men who came and left prison who were met with open arms, Coretta Scott King with Dr. King; Betty Shabazz with Malcolm X; Graca Machel with Nelson Mandela.
The rate at which single black women are raising children is not the same parallel as white marriages ending in divorce. Slim Thug is stating that white women know how to treat a man, so if they are all so great at relationships, why is the divorce rate so high? Black women raising children alone isn't a direct cause and effect to marital rate. You also have to take into account the black women who TRIED to give a "thug" a shot when he wasn't ready to be a man, black women who were abused or raped, black women who are in relationships with men who are still fathers to their children but not in the household, and black women whose standards simply just weren't high enough.
Quite frankly if more black women had the high standards that Slim Thug wants us to NOT have, we'd have less single black mothers and may be more careful with who we lie down with. At least that's what's worked for me. No children but plenty of male role models surrounding me (father, godfather, grandfather, etc.) As far as being interested in Slim Nice Guy, *sigh* You're feeding into the "every woman wants a thug" deal. Even while I interviewed MC Lyte, she said flat out she now wants a "refined ruffneck." Someone who she can take to the White House and not just the block. Da Brat is in prison right now so you see how that "That's What I'm Looking For" worked for her.
As a woman grows up, she stops looking for a thug and starts looking for a man. THESE are the high expectations that Slim Thug wants us to let go of.